Vomit God #20: Searching For a Ghost

VOMIT GOD SPEAKS


I'm sure we have all read (or participated in) the great Ghostbusting Halloween adventure which took place, of course, on Halloween, where I and three of my compatriots dressed up as ghostbusters. I cannot speak for the other three, but I did it to make people upset.
Before I explain further, I just want to say that making people upset is the greatest thrill in one's life. You can't imagine the joy I get when I walk by mothers and say, "That's a great looking baby you got there! Be sure to fatten it up for Thanksgiving." The look on people's faces when I do shit like that is worth writing a million articles about. I wanted to be an abortion doctor, or the zombie Mother Theresa, but hey, I said. A ghostbusting outfit will show these motherfuckers what a COSTUME is.

The day came, and we headed downtown. Suddenly, I didn't feel right! I saw the same people downtown as I saw everytime, except these people were dressed up and contorted, like the souls in the hell which they would be going to. I suddenly felt like Dante, with the souls of the damned, reaching out to me, calling to me, like the souls in the "Inferno" eagerly harassing Dante for news of the outer world.

These are the people I hate, and I was making them happy. These are the people who yell "Hey, faggot" out the window. These are the people who buy Blink-182 CD's and therefore help to drive a nail into punk's casket. These are the Fubu wearing goateed motherfuckers who drive me insane. (See the article I wrote with my blurb on downtown.)

To the people who told me not to think about this, I say this to you: No one thought that the US would be attacked by terrorists, all the indications were there, and 5,000 people died because no one thought about it. This life is for two kinds of people: the quick and the dead. Take advantage of opportunities by traveling the least traveled route. Travel to Cuba to get the best cigars.

On the other hand, the next night we went out as Ghostbusters was fucking awesome! We almost got run over by a pig on his way to the donut shop, and we almost got into a fight with a bouncer at a snotty nightclub! We yelled insults back at every tart who yelled shit at us, and "Halloween was last week" was countered by "Yeah, it's almost Christmas, stupid!"

Busting (When it involves upsetting trendies) Makes me feel good!