Vomit God #14: People Are Too Serious

VOMIT GOD SPEAKS


I just got a copy of the first album by Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band, "Safe as Milk." As I listened to it, I thought of how no bands in this modern age have a sense of humor. Beefheart, and his Band, was a fine example of a feeling of a time lost. Nowadays, people would listen to songs like "Electricity" and not be able to feel the humor and warped joy in every loop of feedback. There is a lost art in the annuals of humor, and that is, taking it a step too far. No one seems to undertand what I do, and that's because people are too busy eating bran and reading newspapers! Do you know why people still admire Andy Kaufman? It's because he was the ultimate disciple of this lost art. But unfortunately, people are still content to be sitting on nine inch steel rods that are implanted deep within their assholes. They look at the lake for the fish, and not for the billions af microscopic organisms. A good example of this new trend in blandness is emo. Humorless, brainless, muck that every reader of Vegetarian Times seems to drool over. Even the hippies have one hand up on that shitty music, and that is, even though their humor sucked, it was still humor! Every so-called musician I have met seems to only have a one-track mind to make himself the greatest, and yet, if I say "Let's do a blues song to piss those skater kids off," then he gets mad! And God forbid any feedback! The point is, modern musicians seem comfortable fitting into pre-dug holes, rather than try to start some of their own. Do you see any gamelan blues bands? I think not! This may have been a short article, but I have one thing to say to all you fuckers: Sometimes the Rubicks cube looks better with multicolored sides. STOP THINKING LIKE YOUR PARENTS. Oh, yeah, I forgot, they were hippies, too.