MONSTER SQUAD (1987)

KEEP WATCHING THE SCREENS
~By Beef Lenin

I remember one time when I was in elementary school me and some friends were at recess kicking around a ball. Suddenly, the sound you least want to hear as an eight-year-old ball enthusiast: the bell signifying the end of recess. Dejected, we sauntered back to class but still felt to compelled to kick the ball back and forth as we walked toward our classroom. Our teacher, Mrs. Watts, became angered by our defiant urge to continue our pick-up game of kick ball and exclaimed, "Hold your balls! Hold your balls!" I and my young band of misfit toys decided to kick our ball toward the teacher and then we walked back to the classroom grasping earnestly to our batches! We were cheered as heroes, if just for one day…

What does this have to do with Monster Squad? Everything! This is the type of movie that makes me remember those times fondly. It's movies like this one, Goonies, The Explorers, and all those other classics that take me back to a more innocent time, when fun was simple, video games were God, and the Coke was new.

When a group of Universal-style monsters apparently get lost on their way to be extras in Beetlejuice's Rockin' Graveyard Revue stumble upon Anytown, U.S.A. it is up to our young heroes the Monster Squad to save the town, and the clueless (of course!) adults. Man, it's great being a kid.

Jason Masks

This is a fun movie, no bones about it. Rent this one as many times as possible and be the first one on your block to proudly proclaim: "Wolfman has nards!!!"

Rippability

The quips come fast and furious in this film, which gets my vote for greatest Cheesefest surprise of all time. Features "the golden rip" which only Vocephus and I shall cherish forever.

Redeeming Qualities - Kind of a redundant considering this isn't a bad movie. But you get a cool rebellious kid wearing none other than penny loafers and riding a Huffy bike. You also get a gal in underwear and more hilarious line than you thought were possible from a late-80s Goonies spin-off. Rent this tonight, you and your friends will be quoting it for months to come.

Noteworthy Curiosities - This was the very first film of our very first Cheesefest. We were 16, my we were so much younger then. Now, my heart is old...Christian Slater has aged me…