COMIC CON 2002
It's time once again to dust off your Rouge Squadron helmet, put on your finest tunic, shine up your broad sword, and apply plenty of Clearsil. That's right, Comic Con 2002 is in town, and everybody who's anybody (and even a lot of people who are nobody) is there! The crew of WOV boarded the next departing shuttlecraft and beamed down right into the thick of the action!
Our own Beef Lenin wastes no time in acquiring some pretty sweet Buffy the Vampire Slayer schwag. Wear your Buffy shirt with pride, Beef!
Aside from buying enough plastic and pulp to crush a bag of kittens, there are also many interesting people to meet at Comic Con. In a rare photo opportunity, we see Dr. Cox bonding with his Hair Twin.
Comic Con is also known for its abundance of free stuff. While most of it is quite interesting, some of it can be downright bomar. Socrates Johnson politely declines a Free Hug.
However, we see that one man's trash is indeed another man's treasure, be it a free hug, or the umpteenth KISS figurine series. There really is something for everyone at Comic Con!
Not only reserved for fat guys with ponytails, Comic Con is also host to a plethora of Quasi-Celebrities! Our find of the day was Willow himself, Warwick Davis! Unlike Lou Ferrigno, Warwick allowed us to have a photo taken without having to buy one of his crappy overpriced ones. Fuck you, Lou Ferrigno.
Is that Bill Moseley from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Night of the Living Dead '90 fame? Why yes, yes it is! Don't worry, Bill's not bitter...he's just a little bit too into his characters, even after all these years.
Who do you call when there's an all out zombie invasion? You call Ken Foree of Dawn of the Dead, and get your ass to the nearest shopping mall. Ken also allowed himself to be photographed without buying one of his crappy overpriced photos (though I bought one anyway) unlike the guy who played a Klingon, the bad guy in Cobra, and a bad guy on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Fuck you, guy who played a Klingon, the bad guy in Cobra, and a bad guy on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
We were that close to Weird Al, and didn't snap his neck. Hell, at least we could have told him he eats. Thus I take yet one more regret with me to the grave.
It's Porkins! The rotund X-Wing pilot from Star Wars: A New Hope! Porkins finally got his own Star Wars action figure last year. Just don't let him pilot your toy X-Wing...
Donna D'Errico was spotted walking around the floor in a disappointingly non-clingy tshirt. She was, however, running everywhere in slow motion. Very disturbing, yet nonetheless arousing.
Look out for fake blood! It's Lloyd Kaufman, the president of Troma, makers of such fine fare as The Toxic Avenger, Killer Condom, and Terror Firmer. Here I am with Lloyd, and someother guy from Troma...Lloyd seemed to think I should want him in the photograph too, though I don't know who he is.
More trouble from Troma! Sgt. Kabuki Man NYPD accosts the WOV gang with extreme prejudice! It was quite the TROMATIC experience! We also encountered Gene Simmons earlier in the day, but at risk of being exposed to some variety of airborne STD, we kept a safe distance from him.
Ah, the Masquerade! The grand culmination of months of production and hundreds of dollars...all for a glorious minute of stage time in front of hundreds of nerd brethren. Not only a time for wacky hijinks and general merriment, the Masquerade can also provide the opportunity for forbidden romance!
In addition to buying mass quantities of rare Cat Man comics and hard to find Hentai, there is indeed much to be learned at Comic Con. For instance, Socrates and Ogre learn firsthand how the structural integrity of a bagel will hold up after an intense game of Cross-town Bagel Hockey.
After the Con closes, the festivities continue at the local hotels. Here, Ogre finds something useful to do with the otherwise undrinkable free drinks at the Hyatt. A triumph for physics, and a new application for high fructose corn syrup based beverages.
Ah, what fun the Con has to offer, but nothing lasts forever. When the doors close for the last time on Sunday afternoon, everyone must leave the wonder land that is Comic Con and return to their lives (or lack thereof). But for four glorious days, we were kings...equals among the thousands of attendees, and immune to the cries of "Superman isn't fat!" This year's Con was a grand event, but one can only wonder what next year will bring...
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