The Mike Files #1

The 29th of September, in the year of our Lord, 2000.


I have recently come across something that enraged me to the core, and proved
once and for all, the world is coming to an end. Now, since I was in the 6th
grade, i have been an avid fan of Star Wars books, continuing the legacy of
some of the greatest characters of all time. for a time, it was all fun and
games, Han and Leia marry and have kids, yadda yadda. Now the series is
picking up again, and getting disturbing. Luke gets married. I can tolerate
that, its about damn time the worlds oldest jedi virgin got laid. But what I
saw nex shocked me: the death of Chewbacca.

WHAT THE HELL!?! You can't just kill Chewbacca, without Chewie, all you can turn to for comic relief is Jar-Jar.... and he is neither comic nor relief. Now, I
know there are a lot of writers out there trying to make a name for themselves, and killing a character tends to do that, but c'mon, not Chewie. If you wanna kill someone, nail an obsolete character, like Lobot, or perhaps Wedge.... find a way to work in the untimely (or perhaps very timely) death of the amazing Sate Pestige, obsolete emeperor's advisor extridinaire. In fact, I could even understand cloning Porkins, only to kill his fat ass all over again. Hey thats an idea.... make him like Kenny on South Park

"Oh my god.... you killed Porkins!"

"You nerf herder!"

Well, I'd like to give a big F*ck you to Del Ray books. For this, you'll
forever burn in hell.

And to you Vocephites, may the force be with you....always.

-Mike