The Shenanigoat by Danny Castleberry

Two men are sitting around playing paper football. They wish there was something better to do, but there isn’t. This is an emergency, an extreme boredom situation. They are in luck, now there is something better, “The Shenanigoat.” With “The Shenanigoat” there will never be another dull moment.

“The Shenanigoat” is a hyperactive goat that just keeps on going. Its shenanigans will keep you entertained for hours at a time. It is the same size of a normal goat and looks the same. However, this is not just any goat, it is a goat that comes with three snazzy T-Shirts: red, yellow, and redellow. It also feeds off of hypercaffeinated goat pellets to give it more energy for its shenanigans. It can also give any house a refreshing barnyard smell. Some of its shenanigans include: running, jumping, running and then jumping, eating strange objects, leaving feces in odd places, and other goat related things. “The Shenanigoat” is also easy to use. First, feed it our specially formulated goat pellets. Second, sit back, relax, and let the good times roll. This device is intended for use by highly intoxicated college students and not for people under the age of 18, or anyone with a heart condition.

There are many advantages to having “The Shenanigoat” in your home. One of which is that “the Shenanigoat” is highly effective at keeping college students of the streets where they are the most dangerous. Instead of rioting and setting of large explosives, which could anger some countries and prompt them to start WW III because they believe they are being attacked. Instead they will be in their dorm rooms having the times of there lives with “The Shenanigoat.” It will also keep them out of their cars, stopping pointless accidents from occurring, and saving thousands of lives. “A safe community is a Shenanigoat community.” However, there is the possibility in rare occasions that “The Shenanigoat” will go insane from being in captivity, and destroy their dorms. Putting them back on the streets and WW III will start anyways. You also have to constantly water it and feed it something healthier than caffeine pellets. Mainly because the caffeine pellets will eventually cause its heart to explode if “The Shenanigoat” eats to many of them, if this does happen we will gladly replace with a new goat free of cost. It may also attack and possibly kill someone if irritated too much.

With “The Shenanigoat” life will always be full of excitement. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages greatly and you get all of this and more for the rock bottom price of $9,999.95. “The Shenanigoat” can be ordered by calling toll free 1-800-555-GOAT. This will be able to change the world into an animal-loving Utopia. Remember, “It’s better than a boat, it’s “The Shenanigoat.”