What I think we shoud do to Osama Bin Laden... by Dragon Chick

September 11th, 9-11...I don't know about you, but when I think about the day thousands of people died for no obvious reason, I can't help but be a little peeved. The morning of the attacks found me asleep in my bed, tucked away in the quiet city of Spring Valley (ok, maybe not so quiet...unless you consider gunshots, sirens and screeching tires quiet.) I woke up to my mother charging into my room, "ALICIA! GET UP! Planes crashed into the world trade center!" Meanwhile, I'm still half asleep wondering why on earth I'm being woke up at this time on a weekend. Luckly, the fragments of her statment that did reach my conciousness peaked my curiosity enough to get me out of bed.

So I made my way downstairs and plopped my half-awake butt in front of the tube just long enough to see the twin towers smoking like to giant cigars. I must have seen people bailing out hundredth story windows a million times from a hundred different angles, all the while hearing that this whole mess was caused by some asshole named Osama Bin Laden. (ugh! I spit on the name! *hack-thwoot!*) The little weasel sent "his people" to hijack some planes and crash them into American symbols in the name of Allah! Who would think that their god would want them to kill millions of innocent people in worship? What god would want to ruin what he created? (My personal opinion is that we all have the same god or none at all, but that's a whole other essay.) Then again, maybe I'm misinformed. At any rate, I think that Osama deserves to be blown into little pieces when we find him. You know, blow off a finger tip here, a foot here, move on up to what genetals he might have (not much since the wuss is hiding!), just so that he can understand exactly what kind of pain and torture he put the victims and their loved ones through. Better yet, take Mr. Bin Laden out into the middle of good ol' NYC and let anyone who wants to have a pop at him for a time limit of two minutes a person. Now THAT would be something I'd like to see! In fact, I'd probably be that person walking up and down the line,"chains, knives, baseball bats! Get your tools to beat that bastard here!" Wearing a blood splattered (don't panic it's fake blood!) T-shirt with "My parents went to beat the shit out of Bin Laden and all I got was this stupid t-shirt" written on the front of it and a chalk outline on the back with a tattered turban laying next to it. (dreamy look) Isn't that just the nicest mental picture you've ever had? (Short of your parents having sex on YOUR bed of course. Muahahah! got'cha.) Oh I can see it now... how sweet it would be, except, it would probably never happen since amazingly enough, there'd probably be some group of idiots out there that would think that killing another human is wrong and they'd try to come and save the lucky bastard. Then, all our hopes and dreams would be RUINED!(at least mine anyway...)

There, now you have it. D.C.'s (Dragon Chick for all you dumbasses :)) scoop on Bin Laden and this whole Sept 11th thing mess.