Vox Rox #3: Tax Time

WORDS OF VOCEPHUS


I owe eight dollars to the state of Califorina this year. Thanks for a wonderful stay, I got exactly what I paid for. Yes, tax time has come, and I'm afraid Da Man has extended his bony thumb and pressed me firmly beneath it. Not that eight dollars is a lot of money. It's an insult. To be quite honest, I'd prefer it if Gray Davis (Govenor of California) himself, came to my house sometime around 6 or 7 in the morning while I was still sleeping, and knocked on my door. I then drag myself out of bed, groggy and tired, and make my way down the hall while he continues pounding. Upon reaching the door and opening it, bright sunlight pouring in blinding me, he says not a word but stands there smiliing. He then proceeds to hock up a nice load of phlegm from the depths of his esophogus, and without skipping a beat, blows it right in my face. Still not uttering a single syllable, he reaches out, shakes my hand, turns around and leaves. So, between the eight dollars and a loogie in the face, I'll take the loogie.

I'd like to see what happens to me if I don't pay it. Eight dollars is pretty small bananas, but I wonder if there'll be some penalty? It would be great if they came and hauled me off to jail for tax evasion. I can see it now...I'm sitting on the top bunk in my cell, and the big black burly guy comes up to me and says, "so what're you in for?" I take a slow drag off my cigarette, and without looking at him I relpy, "...eight dollars..." They'll all fear me, and Crazy Eight becomes my prison nickname. The way I see it, if I'm thrown in the clink for not paying my Sun Tax this year, then I deserve to be there anyway. Besides, it's not like they give solitary confinment to tax dodgers. I'd probably be sent to some minimum security white-collar prision where I'll watch T.V. and do Tai-Bo every day. Hell, there'll probably even be a laptop in my cell, so I'll be able to update on a daily basis.

So I haven't quite decided what to do...begrudgingly give eight of my hard earned dollars to the state of California, or fight the power. After all, my generation does need a cause to rally behind. As long as my protest doesn't spawn any hippies in the process, I say we all get behind Vocephus, and say, "Hell no! The eight dollars won't go (to road repair)!" Peace, my brothers.

~Vox Vocephus



The views expressed in this article may not be the veiws of the author. If you were offended or have any complaints about the content, please do not hesitate to cry me a river. A small baby seal was harmed in the making of this article.