HOSTAGE HIGH (1997)

KEEP WATCHING THE SCREENS
~By Vox Vocephus

Hostage High was a huge mistake, but not just on the filmmakers side of it. Hoping for a wonderfully stupid bout of Teensploitation, we instead ended up renting a star-studded After-School special that left me yearning to consult my local Library of Congress to learn more. Well, it had aging teen idols Henry Winkler, Rick Schroder and Freddie Prinze Jr. in it...how could we have known?

You can imagine how this goes...Rick Schroder plays the angry and embittered (already he's right for the role) former high school student that returns to the campus to shoot the place up. Senior (in every sense of the word) Freddie Prinze Jr. acts as the liaison between Rick's angry gunman, and Winkler's buffoon police squad. During the course of their "imprisonment", the gang orders pizza, destroys teacher's files, and enjoy frequent bathroom breaks (albeit at gunpoint).

Hostage High had it's heart in the right place, but was a message movie that forgot what it's message was. "Hey kids, it's not cool to shoot up your school", "When in a hostage situation, do what the gunman says and he will feed you", or "No matter what the hostage negotiator says, they are still going to arrest you when you come out". Ultimately, I was left longing for my junior college to come under a similar attack, though I can't imagine anyone there has the motivation to go through with it. Yet one more argument for the legalization of marijuana.

The Scale Of Pain

Realizing you've paid for something that you could have watched on PBS is the biggest blow, though Rick Schroder's acting will make you long for the subtle nuance of an episode of Silver Spoons.

Rippability

You will truly push the boundaries of good taste, but eventually you will find yourself rooting for the gunman.

Nudity

What was he thinking!? One of my first demands would have been for all the girls to get naked...such wasted potential.