The Mike Files #6

The 14th of November, in the year of our Lord, 2000.

I would like to publically apologize for my last article. I was a bit angry
when I wrote it, and Shelly deserves better than what she got, hopefully she
can forgive me. I kind of displaced my anger and now I should focus on the
real object of my hatred...... Billy Blanks/Tae Bo!

Ok, it may seem harmless at first, but that was before I solved the mystery
of Tae-Bo. First there is the name itself, reversing the letters in "Tae" you
get "Eat Bo" obviously Billy Blanks has a deep rooted hatred for Bo Jackson,
but why?

For the answer, let us look at the bible in the book of revelations, the
messiah is described as having feet of bronze and hair of wool. Sounds like
Bo Jackson to me folks, so obviously Bo Jackson is our risen savior, which
leads me to conclude that Billy Blanks is the anti-christ himself.


So why the implication of Tae-Bo? Its easy just as Richard Simmons (a,k,a,
Satan) did before him, Billy Blanks has targeted fat people, but why?
Because they have the lowest self esteem and make easy puppets, now, while
Satan bought time by concentrating on useless fat people, Billy Blanks
slipped in with Tae-Bo, a martial arts work out, effectively creating his own
army of darkness. Sure they may be slobs at first, but after a while, they
become mindless servants, with the skills neccesary to wipe out earth and
lead us into a thousand generations of hell.

But all is not lost people, reject Billy Blanks and his false promises. But
be wary of what he says, he hides truths in with his lies. He is right when
he says you'll "feel the burn" the burn of eternal damnation, and so forth.
Brothers and sisters, rise against the dark one, accept Jesus Christ in your
heart, and take back your souls, do it for me, do it for your children but
most of all.... DO IT FOR BO!!!

-Mike