50) R.E.M. - MURMUR (1983) I'm starting with a few guilty pleasures, here. There's no denying that this album is good. With songs like "Talk About The Passion" and "Laughing", Murmur ranks as one of the best kickback albums of all time. I love the jingly-jangly guitar most of all. It's kind of like what the Byrds would be like if they didn't take so many drugs. This album will put you to sleep, but in a relaxing way, not in a boring way.
49) XTC - APPLE VENUS VOLUME ONE (1999) I'm not as macho as I come across. It takes a lot to make me cry, but this album begins to jerk on the old tear ducts, not to mention the heart strings. This is the first thing XTC released in seven years, and they speak of the turmoil of leaving their record label, Andy Partridge's divorce from his wife, and their illnesses plaguing them, all on this record. It's a very experimental record, too, a mix of acoustic pop and orchestral arrangements. Try "I Can't Own Her" for a great love ballad, or "Frivolous Tonight" for a great easy listening tune.
48) JOY DIVISION - UNKNOWN PLEASURES (1979) This is the album you listen to as you drift off to that big rock stadium in the sky after swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills. Every song is a suicide note, and indeed, Ian Curtis hung himself a year after this was released. Was he depressed? Well, duh. Just listen to "Disorder" or "Interzone" for tunes that make Kurt Cobain look like Pat Boone. I like this album for the cool bass lines most of all. A dark, depressing delight.
47) THE UNDERTONES - S/T (1979) Imagine if the Monkees and the Ramones were put into a blender and you have The Undertones. There's no denying that this album would rank near the top of catchiest albums of all time. Just one spin of "Jimmy Jimmy" will leave you with an incurable case of "Catchyitis". The vocals are very leprechaun-like, too. Make sure you brush your teeth after chewing this bubblegum.
46) THE JAM - IN THE CITY (1977) I hate most mods, but The Jam were different. They knew how to rock and roll! They weren't stuck up like most mods either. Their songs were aimed at everyone, and not just "the kids." This album carries great tunes with important social messages like "Bricks and Mortar" and "Away From the Numbers." They maintain a tie to their mod roots while mixing in rock'n'roll energy. It's great.
45) PUBLIC IMAGE LIMITED - SECOND EDITION (1979) Kind of like a warped disco album, SECOND EDITION is truly bizarre. John Lydon maintains his "fuck everything" attitude from the Sex Pistols, but writes more intelligent lyrics, attacking sex, and corporate bullshit. "Albatross" is a truly bizzare dance tune, and so is "Swan Lake."
44) THE DAMNED - MACHINE GUN ETIQUETTE (1979) Someone get some water, 'cause this record burns. This record is one half rock'n'roll and one half new wave, but the Damned maintain their sarcastic, knowingly dumb attitudes, which I love. One minute there's the rockers "Love Song" and "Noise Noise Noise," and the next there's pseudo goth songs like "Plan 9, Channel 7." It's a crossover record to their gothic 80's, and it damn well rocks. Keep out of hearing range of gerbils.
43) THE BUZZCOCKS - SINGLES GOING STEADY (1979) Or as I know it "Everything You Need To Know About The Buzzcocks, But Were Afraid To Ask." Ah, The Buzzcocks. My junior high pals and I would giggle at "Orgasm Addict", and I still enjoy a good laugh or two at that tune. This compilation is so...teenage that it's like a fountain of youth every time I pop it on. It will keep me eternally young.
42) DAVID BOWIE - HUNKY DORY (1972) Rather than a rock opera, this is more like a rock broadway production! I can almost picture Bowie with a top hat and cane during "Kooks". "Queen Bitch" is one of the greatest rockers of all time. No one can make rock'n'roll like Bowie. He even makes art cool, especially during "Andy Warhol."
41) WALL OF VOODOO - DARK CONTINENT (1981) This is the soundtrack Ennrico Morrone never released, probably because it was too dark and weird! But, hell, those are two things I like, so that guarantees this a spot on my list! Variating between salsa, western twang guitar, and horror movie music, DARK CONTINENT will make you dance, scratch your head, or both! Stan Ridgeway has a cool voice, too. Try "Call Box" or "Tse Tse Fly."
Hi hi hi, my little droogies, and welcome back to Vomit God's Album list. You know what? I love blue corn chips! They are the greatest snack ever invented. If it was up to me, this whole list would be sponsored by Trader Joe's organic blue corn chips. mmm! mmm! That's good eatin'! Well, hold on to your salsa, amigo, 'cause here's 40-31!
40) BLACK FLAG - THE FIRST FOUR YEARS (1984) Ah, the anger! The violence! The only good thing Henry Rollins ever did! It's all here and more! This album catches the seven inches from the Keith Morris, Dez Cadera, and early Henry Rollins years. It's all the hits your neighborhood love to hate, like "Jealous Again", and "Six Pack." The only thing this album needed was the "TV Party" seven inch tacked on, and it would have been higher on my list.
39) HUSKER DU - ZEN ARCADE (1984) It doesn't take a "Pinball Wizard" to see that this is one of the greatest concept albums of all time. I love concept albums where you don't know what the hell is going on, and by God, this is one of them. It's 1/2 pop with songs like "Chartered Trips", and "Pink Turns to Blue", 1/4 angry, violent hardcore like "Indecision Time", and 1/4 noise like "Reoccuring Dreams." Going back to the hardcore, oh man. Rarely has anger been captured so well on wax. Bob Mould screams like his nuts are in a fucking vise! But it makes great listening. A must have.
38) SEX PISTOLS - NEVER MIND THE BOLLOCKS, HERE'S THE SEX PISTOLS (1977) When I first heard this when I was 15, I immediately knew what rock'n'roll was. The roaring, wanky, Johnny Thunders rip off guitars! The pounding drums! The half-assed bass! And most importantly, the sarcastic, evil, don't give a shit lyrics and vocals! Ah, bliss! "Holidays in the Sun" opens up this battle cry and ends with the vengeful "EMI." "Anarchy in the UK" may have been about... anarchy in the UK, but the point of the song carries to all countries.
37) STIFF LITTLE FINGERS- INFLAMMABLE MATERIAL (1979) The first SLF song I ever heard was "Alternative Ulster," and it was love at first sound. Never had the subject of freedom, equality, and hating the major record labels been captured so beautifully. And best of all, Jake couldn't sing! If my band carried a message, it would follow the lead of Stiff Little Fingers. "Emergency" is one of my favorite songs, too.
36) BRIAN ENO - BEFORE AND AFTER SCIENCE (1977) MUSIC FOR AIRPORTS almost made this list, too, but sadly, it didn't make the first cut. Some people like classical music to kick back, but I prefer relaxing ambient keyboard stuff, like Vangelis, and Brian Eno. The first side is a proto punk masterpiece, and the second side are aural soundscapes. Arty, yes, but not to the point of being stuck up. Try "Backwater" and "Julie With..".
35) SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES - THE SCREAM (1978) Ah, my dream woman, Siouxsie. Not only is her voice arousing, but she makes good music, too. This is along the lines of Joy Division, but not full of as much despair. Some of it sounds like it was recorded in a closet, which gives it a claustrophobic feel. The only qualm is that there's no pics of Siouxsie for me to solidify my dreams, but songs like "Carcass" and "Metal Postcard" make up for it mostly.
34) FUGAZI -REPEATER (1991) I got into a fight with my friend for the last copy of this in my Missouri hometown's record store, and I'm glad I won! It's funky, arty, and punky all at the same time. I can tell the influence of bands like Wire and Gang of Four right away. "Sieve Fisted Find" is great, and so is "Merchandise." On a related note, they put on the best show I have ever seen in my life!
33) WIRE - PINK FLAG (1977) Fugazi almost came close to outdoing their mentors, Wire, but close only counts in hand grenades and threats of Styx reuniting. Short, simple, snappy, and snarling sum this work of art. A friend of mine told me of a tribute band who played this in order and kept a timer so it would be played the exact album length! I want to try that! With songs like "Ex-Lion Tamer" and "Mr. Suit", who could resist?
32) REZILLOS - CAN'T STAND THE REZILLOS (1979) "Top of the Pops" almost made me kill myself at 16 because I couldn't stop humming it. Faye and Eugene are two of the only people who can get the two singer thingie down the best. (Besides John and Exene) It's pure punk pop mayhem that is sure to get your toes tapping and head bobbing. I love "Destination Venus", and no, I don't like Fag or Astrofag's lame version.
31) RAMONES - ALL THE STUFF (AND MORE) VOLUME ONE (1991) This is where it all began for me, kiddies. One rainy afternoon I picked this up from Soundtracks and my like was forever changed. I discovered punk rock! The three chord guitars! Ah, the shouted vocals! My mom even yelled at me for playing this too often and too loud! I'm actually cheating, 'cause this is two albums in one! Their first two albums to be exact. "Blitzkrieg Bop" is probably one of the first songs guitar players learn, and I haven't heard a bad word about "Commando." Rip roaring fun, and even though this may have slipped a bit on my list since I first bought it, it will always have a home in the top 50.
Hi'ya kids. Vomit God here yet again. We're getting close to #1, so hang on to your diapers. You know, I'm really getting sick of the judicial system. I have jury duty on the 18th, only a month after I had to go to court for a stupid traffic violation! Damn! Oh, well, maybe I'll get on an O.J. Simpson-esqe case and then write a book and make a million. Well, enough babbling. Here's 30-21:
30) THE DEAD MILKMEN - BIG LIZARD IN MY BACKYARD (1985) Some of the best lyrics ever were written by this band, who should be the spokesmen of at least some generation. It's punk mixed with folk, and lyrics about lizards, camaros, getting high on plums, and nutrition. I site this band as my main lyrical influence, as well as writing many songs that I would use in a soundtrack of my life, like "Swordfish", "V.F.W", and "My Best Friend is a Junkie."
29) IGGY POP AND JAMES WILLIAMSON - KILL CITY (1977) "We Don't Believe in Anything/ We Don't Stand For Nothing." Pure poetry from two former Stooges. Perhaps the bluesiest record on this list, Kill City is a bunch of songs that Iggy and James wrote for the Stooges, but never got around to recording. It sucks that the Asheton Brothers aren't around, but terrific songs like "Kill City", the soul ballad "Sell Your Love," and the rockin' "Consolation Prizes" make up for it. By the way, this is the first of three Iggy-related records to make my list.
28) CHEAP TRICK - S/T (1977) Rockin' power pop at it's best! Before the crapiness of "The Flame" extinguished all hope of Cheap Trick being good, there was this record. Indeed, pick up their four records after this, because they are great, too, but this is the leader of the pack. Teenage comedy lyrics dominate along with kick ass guitars, and that's only one of the reasons why this record smokes. Try "He's a Whore," "Elo Kiddies," and "Taxman, Mr. Thief."
27) ELVIS COSTELLO AND THE ATTRACTIONS - ARMED FORCES (1979) According to Vocephus, I once proclaimed "Elvis rocks" in a drunken stupor, and dammit, that's how I feel, especially when spinning this piece of wax. Rather then taking the punk route of venting anger through lots of "fuck you's", Elvis calmly sits us down and explains why everything sucks in a humane, intelligent manner. Ah, and that cheesy organ playing by Steve Nieve, too. I particularly enjoy "Goon Squad", "Busy Bodies" and "Two Little Hitlers."
26) THE FORGOTTEN REBELS - IN LOVE WITH THE SYSTEM (1978) If I could make a record, this is probably what it would sound like. Punk at it's snottiest! Of course they attack the government in songs like "In Love With The System." But they have a lot of great ideas about foreign policy as evidenced by "Bomb The Boats, Feed The Fish," and "I Left My Heart in Iran." But the best moments of the record are when they attack the 60's and Elvis. "The Punks are Alright" will leave the mods scambling, and gives tribute to Keith Moon with the line, "I'm glad you died before you got old." But the best song is "No Beatles Reunion." Which proclaims the Beatles a "Multimillion dollar joke that wasn't funny." Superior!
25) THE VELVET UNDERGROUND AND NICO (1967) I think this record makes everybody's list, but I'm putting it on mine anyway 'cause I like it. I think it's a great record to lay back and listen to. The songs may be long but compare that to a Greatful Dead live album where there's a fucking song a side! This is probably the most accurate account of what it's like on drugs, too. Lou Reed is the Pinnacle of cool, while the oh so hot Nico is... oh so hot. "Heroin" and "Here She Comes" are classics.
24) THE NEW YORK DOLLS - S/T (1973) From one heroin addicted band from New York to another, but at least none of the Velvets died from it. Bill Murcia, the drummer,OD'd even before this, their first album, was recorded! The star of this record is clearly Johnny Thunders and his trademark trashy guitar playing, evident on songs like "Jet Boy." David Johansen later achieved fame as Buster Poindexter, in case you kids didn't know, and Johnny Thunders of course, became a cult hero. This is where it all started. "Trash" is a classic, and so is "Personality Crisis."
23) X - MORE FUN IN THE NEW WORLD (1983) Most would pick LOS ANGELES as their favorite X album, but for some reason, no one picks MORE FUN IN THE NEW WORLD. It's great! There's no reason to dislike this mix of punk, rockabilly, country, and pop. You may think that's too many styles to fit in, but it all goes together well, especially in "Make The Music Go Bang." "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts" sums up everything that punk stood for, but sadly, this is X's last good record before they got swallowed up by the mainstream.
22) ROXY MUSIC - FOR YOUR PLEASURE (1973) If you are going to be stuck up and British, do it right! This album is perfect for driving around in a rented limo that you blew 3 paychecks on, and drinking champagne. The songs may be drawn out, but at least it's better then that 30 minute drum solo on that Cream record you stole. And the artistes on it! Bryan Ferry, Brian Eno, Phil Manzanera, etc. Ah, beautiful. Try "Do the Strand" for a dance tune, or "For Your Pleasure" to kick back.
21) SONIC YOUTH - DAYDREAM NATION (1988) This is indie rock's sountrack to an acid test, it's a trip. Noisy, attacking, and pretty all at once, this 2 LP set is one of a kind. Even though Kim Gordon gets on my nerves sometimes, her songs like "Kissability" are great. Thurston Moore and Lee Ranaldo sing great songs, too, like "Silver Rocket" and "Hey Joni." 'Tis very good.
Hey people, Vomit God here yet again. Friends, I'd like to take this opportunity to be serious, if I may. Recently, the 20th anniversary of John Lennon's death was observed, and well, I was sad. Sad THAT HE DIDN'T FINISH OFF YOKO, TOO!!!! HAHAH!!!!! All that screeching and yelling in the name of art, ugh! Well, maybe Chapman spared her 'cause she broke up the Beatles. Chapman for prez!!! Here's 20-11, friends:
20) THE WIPERS - IS THIS REAL? (1979) Possibly the most pessimistic album on the list, this Oregon band paved the way for grunge. Hell, Kurt Cobain copied Greg Sage's look, and Nirvana even tried to cover "Return of The Rat" and "D-7". I like this record because it is so "bare bones". There's no additional instruments, no backing vocals, and it has that lovely "closet" sound. It's hard rock mixed with punk. Hell, all the songs are equally good, but I like "Wait a Minute" the most. Get this on CD because it has the ALIEN BOY EP tacked on.
19) THROBBING GRISTLE - ENTERTAINMENT THROUGH PAIN: GREATEST HITS (1984) See if you can find anything this weird from '77-'80. This highly influential band was the first throw of the stone for industrial music. I like any band who thinks songs sound better backwards. (The whole song, not just solos, like the Flab Bore, The Beatles.) To top it off, look at the lineup! You have a violent ex-hippie who uses used tampons for art, a porno star, and two scary nerds who build their own instruments! Far out! For maximum freak-outage, try "Tiab Guls," or the famous "Hamburger Lady". There's brief moments of sanity with pieces like "AB/7A".
18) DEAD KENNEDYS - FRESH FRUIT FOR ROTTING VEGETABLES (1980) Some of the subjects on their records after this are kinda out of date, but this record, even though there's Jerry Brown, remains timeless. Jello Biafra always knows how to make the ignorant flinch with songs like "Kill The Poor." but what I like about his lyrics is that he takes on the role of the people he mocks, instead of the tired "Fuck the Government" lyrics other punk bands had. Not only that, the music is fast, catchy, and unorthodox. I love "Stealing People's Mail."
17) T REX - THE SLIDER (1972) This is about as meloncholy as it gets, folks, but this record will also make you tap your toes. This was also produced by Tony Visconti, who produced a lot of good Bowie records. This is a classic example of how to do glam rock right: Flamboyant while kicking ass at the same time! In the lyrics, Marc Bolan reflects often that while he is famous, he knows he's still small in the Big Picture. A classic for sure. "Metal Guru" is a great dance song, while "Ballrooms of Mars" slows things down a bit, but it's still great.
16) THE FALL - HEX INDUCTION HOUR (1982) You either love them, hate them, or you've never heard them, but this is one of two Fall albums that I think truly stand above the 30+ they put out. This is a unique record for 3 reasons. First of all, there's 2 drummers, and it makes this an extremely rhythmic record. Second of all, this record lives up to it's name, because it's one hour long. And thirdly, this record was recorded in Iceland, and how many records are recorded there? Other than that, it's classic Fall, with Mark E. Smith ranting poetry against bizzare instrumentations. "Jawbone and the Air-Rifle" and "Fortress/Deer Park" are wonderful.
15) THE PIXIES - DOOLITTLE (1989) Ah, another creative record. You can play this as either a regular album, or as a concept album by programming your CD player according to the suggested order in the liner notes. Either way, it's fabulous. I enjoy the almost-whispered vocals, and I love it when they become screaming vocals. The harmony between Black Francis and Kim Deal is amazing, and so are the loose instrumentations which always seem to come together at the end of each song. "Monkey Gone to Heaven" is a classic, and I enjoy "No. 13 Baby".
14) THE CRAMPS - SONGS THE LORD TAUGHT US (1980) A whole bunch of posers copied the Cramps, but there's nothing like the real thing! The Cramps for me are the apex of cool, with their all-black suits and slick pomadours. Ivy is the girl you'll never get to have, a real devilish demongirl. This is crazy, drugged out, psychadellic, noisy, rockabilly! Lux Interior has a wide range of vocals, and that makes him eligible for one of my favorite singers of all time. "Garbageman", and "Sunglasses After Dark" are my faves.
13) THE CLASH - LONDON CALLING (1979) What a grab bag! The Clash prove they have more than one trick by playing ska, reggae, rockabilly, hard rock, and of course, punk. Almost no two songs are the same on this two record set. I'd like to also say that The Clash are also at my apex of cool. Damn, I wish I was in this band! I put on this record when I feel like pogoing, or any other kind of dance. It's easy to see why many critics have this as their favorite record. "Lost in the Supermarket" es muy exellente, y "Wrong 'em Boyo" es muy bueno.
12) IGGY AND THE STOOGES - RAW POWER (1973) Never has the name of a record been so dead on as to describing the kind of stuff on the album. This is nuts, pure fucking rock and roll in it's purest form. Wild, crazy, and often unpredictable. It makes me want to dance like a magikis! It starts with the often covered "Search and Destroy" which has to be themost violently played song ever captured on wax. The only mistake that is on this record has to do with letting Bowie mix it. It sounds like a good idea, but the product was too trebly. Buy the "Bowie free" remixed album. Play "Death Trip" for your grandma and see what happens.
11) THE DICKIES - THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING DICKIES (1979) Man, I can't believe this is out of print! I spent 20 dollars on a copy of this, but I got a good deal nonetheless. This is one of those records you have to listen to from start to finish because it's so good. Pogo galore! After 2 spins of this, you'll not only know all the words, but you'll probably throw up from dancing so hard. This is one of a kind, for sure. I like every song equally, but try "Shadow Man" and "Mental Ward".
Ahoy there, music fans, and welcum to the final, the penultimate, the last installment of VOMIT GOD'S TOP 50!!! But never fear, queers, 'cause I happen to like it here, and since I'm nice 'n cozy, I think I'll stay and write a few hundred more articles! Ah, I can here Lennon's maggot-eaten corpse spin in his grave. By the way, if you have any questions, comments, need for bizzare vegetable sex, etc, send it all to beatitude6@hotmail.com. Well, we're down to the top ten. These are the best, the rockinest, the killerest albums out!!! What will the number one be? Scroll to the bottom and find out, cheater, but for the rest of us, I'll start with ten:
10) RADIO BIRDMAN - RADIOS APPEAR (1977) If The Stooges, and The MC5 got put into a blender with Mad Max, then you'd have Radio Birdman, one of the rockinest bands from Down Under! I can only imagine all those Crocodile Dundees doing the pogo to "What Gives." These guys knew what was real, too. Deniz Tek, Birdman's leader, was in cahoots with Ron Asheton in Detroit. Asheton even cowrites a song. If I ever had a reason to grow my hair long and wear black uniforms with a cool symbol, it would be this. Rock out to "Murder City Nights" and "Aloha Steve and Danno."
9) JOHNNY THUNDERS AND THE HEARTBREAKERS - L.A.M.F. (1977) Is it just me, or did Johnny know how to FUCKIN' ROCK'N'ROLL??!! Not one bad song on this album, and that means you'll be jumping around like a cat in an oven to this shit! The Heartbreakers extend traditional rock'n'roll to a much higher level with Thunders' trademark dirty guitar playing. This may be a band, but it's clear who's band this is. Don't get too in to this, or you may find yourelf OD'd in a motel in no time at all. "Let Go" and their cover of "Do You Love Me?" are killer.
8) THE CLASH - S/T (BOTH US AND UK) (1977) You know, they really oughta come out with a disc that has all the songs from both versions. It annoys me to put on the UK version just to hear "Cheat". Anyway, I count this as a great way to debut your band. If you aren't a fan of The Clash's later stuff, you will still love this. I listen to it about once a day, sometimes. It's way too catchy, way too snotty, and even the politically flavored lyrics are cool. "Janie Jones" is on the list for one of my favorite songs of all time. Christ, the goodness! Try "Clash City Rockers" and "Deny" if you have that goddamn UK version.
7) THE SAINTS - I'M STRANDED (1977) If there was any band that used a buzzsaw for an instrument, it would probably site this record as an influence! Sometimes I refuse to believe that's a guitar playing on this record! It's more vicious than anything the Ramones ever put out, and it's the second record in the top ten to come from Austrailia! (Radio Birdman was the first.) It's perhaps the most violent pogo album in history. There's even a few garage numbers for breathers. It's too bad that Chris decided to go for a more "mature" sound later, but this is The Saints album to end all Saints albums. Try "Demolition Girl" and the bonus track "Do The Robot".
6) GANG OF FOUR - ENTERTAINMENT! (1980) Imagine a bunch of businessmen on the stock exchange...getting down and dancing to this album. That's the only way I can describe the feel of this punk/funk/art masterpiece. Besides the funky playing, the lyrics are full of sarcastic venom against traffic, painkillers, and sexism. The "consumer" feel of this album has never been captured again. I love it because the subjects are still relevant today, and it's done in a pseudo-gentlemanly way. I enjoy "Glass" and "I Found That Esscence Rare".
5) THE FALL - DRAGNET (1979) Someone once said that the Fall transcend all genres, even rock'n'roll. This is their most widely praised work, and I can see why. It's captured such a high place on my list because it's such a "lower" work of art. Clearly, vocalist Mark E. Smith is the backbone of this album. (As is with all Fall albums, just this one more.) The music is only there to accompany his poetic rants, it seems. He melds the vocals in time to the music, in return. It's wonderful how only three chords (or less) can be so good. I like "Choc-Stock", "Muzoweri's Daughter", and "Diceman".
4) XTC - BLACK SEA (1980) This album is so British that you can almost hear the Bubbles 'N' Squeak! However, it ceratinly is one of the best things to come from that weird island. I can't stop dancing, humming, and playing this album! AGH! It damn well shows that XTC know how to rock, too. If I could write an album like this, then I would retire, because it would be the highlight of my life! "Respectable Street" describes the exact street I live on, with all of the gossipy old broads, and the new cars. A lot of the songs from here would be on the soundtrack to my life. "Burning With Optimism's Flames" will undo the suicidal thoughts you get from watching "Schindler's List" too much. I enjoy "Towers of London", too.
3) DAVID BOWIE - THE RISE AND FALL OF ZIGGY STARDUST AND THE SPIDERS FROM MARS (1972) Ziggy lives, and will live forever! Bowie may have had a great career, but clearly, this is the highlight from it! Not only did Bowie make everyone believe that he really was from outer space, but man, what a flamboyant spaceman he is! Just look at him in tights and makeup, prancing around stage and stomping to the music! I tell you, all those assholes from the 70's with big stage shows never got it right how to rock! Bowie proved that rock'n'roll can still kick ass with lots of theatrics and geisha costumes! This album makes me rock out, swoon, cry, and pogo all at once!!! This is the finest thing to come out of the 70's mainstream. "Moonage Daydream" and "Lady Stardust" only prove my point.
2) THE DAMNED- DAMNED DAMNED DAMNED (1977) Raw. Amateur. Not Serious. These are the three things that I believe make a damn good rock'n'roll band. The Damned's first album shows them destroying everything in their path, while giving the finger to the upper crust fuckers. I can totally tell that they were influenced by the big two- The MC5 and The Stooges. They didn't join the ranks of those immortal bands, but they came frighteningly close. Besides, who doesn't love a band that dresses in nurses outfits and vampire capes, all while heavily intoxicated. Yep, this album reeks of alcohol, but everyone is funny when they are drunk, like Redd Foxx. I want to be in the Damned! (Although with all of their lineup changes, I'm suprised I wasn't.) It's too bad this didn't come out sooner, because maybe it would have taught four certain Liverpool lads how it's done. Play "1 of The Two" and "Fish" at your sister. The Damned cover a song on their album off of this next one, THE GREATEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME:
1) THE STOOGES - FUNHOUSE (1970)
I...I don't know what to say... Sonic Attacks! Noise! Screaming! ROCKAND FUCKING ROLL, BUDDY!!!!! Think about this: The Beatles broke up in 1970, the year this came out. What's the matter, McCartney? Couldn't stand to see that four poor boys from Detroit made a better album than your lame ass pop? Iggy Pop is the spirit of Rock and Roll Incarnate, peanut butter, lewd gestures on TV, and EVERYTHING. Meanwhile, Iggy is joined by Ron Asheton, who provides perhaps the most maddening assault on guitar ever recorded in history, and he even came to Iggy's wedding dressed like a Nazi! Dave Alexander lays down a funky ass bass that makes you think of getting down and dirty with the girl next door. And last, but certainly not least, Ron's brother, Scott Asheton, Provides the beat, the method to the madness on drums. No wonder his nickname was Rock Action. Legend has it that the studio heads of Elecktra ran out of the room covering their ears when this was played for them. It certainly is ahead of it's time. It starts out with "Down On the Street." which is the warm up song. The chorus is just yelling and the feedback isn't too bad-yet. Then comes the best rock song ever written. "Loose" which is not only about sex, but about heroin. Who else but Iggy could make a song combining sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll? "Stick it deep inside, cause I'm loose! Poh!" FUCK YEAH!! "TV Eye" continues the madness, and it contains the best rock'n'roll scream ever recorded! It even sounds like Iggy puked right after! Next is the breather, "Dirt" which sounds more like a stag film song! I don't even know if Iggy sings "cuff" or "fuck". I don't care, though. Then comes the glorious "1970" which is the ultimate boredom anthem ever! The Damned covered it, too! "I feel Alright" when I listen to it! Again, FUCK, YEAH!!! "Funhouse" is the last musical track on the album, but oh, those sexy saxes! They sure are fuckin' fine!!! "LA Blues" is the climax, and I do mean climax!!! Imagine taping the sounds of wild sex to feedback and horns!! Yeah!! Unfortunately, the Stooges were dropped by Elektra after this, but they didn't seem to mind much. THE GREATEST ALBUM OF ALL TIME, and I'm sticking to that!!!
See you later, masterbators. I'll write an article soon. FUCK THE BEATLES!!! JOHN, YOU HIPPIE! PAUL YOU BITCH-WHIPPED VEGE! GEORGE YOU CURRY EATER! RINGO, YOU...RINGO!
That was a fantastic list. Almost dead-on with everything I listen to. Good to see Iggy get the respect he deserves. Bowie and Iggy irreversibly changed the course of good music forever. Legends never die! Rock on.
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