Vomit God #9: Where Have All The Adventures Gone?

VOMIT GOD SPEAKS


I'm convinced this is the beginning of the end. The end of the creative human spirit. The end of the desire to create new things. In about fifty years, when gas runs out, and the earth's cities are begining to decay, people will begin to look back and wonder when it all went wrong. They will look back at life before the corporately controlled media friendly entertainment of N'Sync, or the ease of "reality based" television, where there are no writers to be paid, and they will wonder why they took the easy road to pleasing the masses. Look at the world you live in, friend. The books you enjoy are all based on what you see on television. (Everyone involved with the OJ Simpson case practically had a best seller.) There is no underground to turn to, which hits me the hardest.

I equate "underground" with the word "guts", which sadly seems to be missing in today's basement bands. I base all of this upon the punk movement of the late 70's and early 80's, which I personally think was truly the apex of the "underground" world. I feel unsafe when I go to see any "modern" underground bands. It just seems to me that these bands are simply fulfilling a designated function of "punk" band or worse, "emo" band. There is no risk taking, just a bunch of Weezer rejects with thick rimmed glasses and satchels doing exactly what you would expect. Nowadays, being in a band with guts means adding a keyboard and writing arty lyrics equivalent to a high school poetry slam. A good example is the new Radiohead album that all these kids love. I listened to it, and it was hard to be open minded to an album where the first song sounds like a sad version of the "Super Mario" theme song. Urgh, these "Jesus Bands" too, like the horrible Dogwood. I doubt Christ gave you your mind for three chords and songs about girlfriends. The really sad part is these bands are becoming popular, too, like that goddamn Blink 182. Punk indeed. I'm sorry, but I like my music with a little spite and vulgarity, along with a lot of sarcasm, which means that I like REAL punk. I doubt running around with your clothes off and making penis jokes will make your point, especially when you've got synthetic bodies and you've got a face like the high school football team's quarterback. And the girls, oh man. They get females left and right! To make my point, here is a quote from one of my favorite songs.

"I can't get a girl 'cause I got misdirection."
-Pere Ubu
"Final Solution"

Did that make sense to you, what I just said? Well, tell me about it, because it doesn't make sense to me. Here's where I make my announcement: I give up. I'm sick of trying to figure you all out. You have problems, and I recommend group therapy.
People are worried about mowing their lawn to please their neighbors, but they are secure in letting their dishes pile up. I throw in the towel, because you sluts are all insane.