Vomit God #10: Death to the Disco Kids

VOMIT GOD SPEAKS


I hate lots of people, but there are a few who really fucking piss me off! I hate them for good reasons, too, the main one being that they get in my way! Fuck all these people! Here's FIVE GROUPS OF PEOPLE WHO I'D BE MORE THAN GLAD TO KILL (In no particular order:)

5) THE PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD: Well, I can't actually blame these people for being stupid. I'd be angry too if my uterus was stretched from having five kids, or if I was balding. These jerks constantly tell me to slow down, to which I answer with a smile and my middle finger. Their fucking little brats run around in my yard, too. If it was up to me, I'd have a giant Pterodon living on the top of Mount Migel, which would swoop down and kill these useless fuckers. Don't feel bad for them, most of them are lawyers and bartenders anyway.

4)CHE CAFE HIPPIES: These people are living the ideal commune style. They share money, water flowers... and then go back to UCSD the next day where they learn to be rich, scamming doctors. These people hand out outdated propaganda and accuse people of being cops just because they aren't dressed in hoodies with Assuck patches. You know, Hitler started as a supposed leftist guy with new ideas, too. So did Castro. Go back to Woodstock.

3)THE PEOPLE WHO GO DOWNTOWN ON FRIDAY NIGHTS: These would be the ideal people to rob my house, because in a police line up, I wouldn't be able to tell one motherfucker from the next. Is it just me, or does every other prick have a goatee and a shaved head, and does every bitch look like Sherry O'Terri on downers? This is downtown San Diego, AKA "The adults playland." Maybe if the kids had more to do here, then maybe they wouldn't be so fucking apathetic. When I go downtown, I can smell the sex and the booze in the air. One time a band I liked played at "Buffalo Joes" and the lead singer snuck a friend and I in. In the hour before the show, I was mercilessly groped and a guy tried to fight me because I bumped into him by accident. By the way, if there is a chance the people from Buffalo Joe's are reading this, your martini's sucked.

4)TECHNICAL NERDS: Alright, I may be a nerd, but I tend to think of myself as a "bookworm" and a "Music Nerd." God strike me down before I become one of these assholes. It seems like I can't go to any exhibit in a museum without hearing these cunts spouting some shitty technobabble to impress the skirts. Well, I have a question to these people: WHERE WILL YOUR FUCKING .COM KNOWLEDGE BE WHEN THE APOCALYPSE COMES!? And the ones I hate are the ones who try to talk "computer" with me. No, I don't have the fucking hasseblex mega-chip which plugs into the EPA (pop) 30 on the dot! I guess you're just better than me because you own HAL 9000.

1)ART FAGS: I actually love these people. They go so far out of their way to be rebellious and make a statement that it's almost self-lampooning. They can glue macaroni to construction paper, and if you dare laugh at it, they pull out the old, "You're just not deep enough" excuse. And talk about "Brave New World", they are all the same! It just seems like all of them have that same photo they took of the face coming out of the shadows, which they always seem to win first place for!

Well, that's just a look into the madness of others.

In unrelated news, I'm looking for a few good pricks to swallow their pride and send their embarrassing questions to me. Yeah, I'm copying that Drunken guy, but I need a laugh! Send your questions to beatitude6@hotmail.com