Desservo #3: Rancho San Diego: A Reflection and a Rant

by Desservo

This is a town of magical proportions -- to me, anyway. Why? It is a grand contradiction.

First of all, it utilizes a "countryside" theme, yet is almost overdeveloped and hideously congested in a never-ending shopping nightmare. Also, I have feelings of disdain towards this little town in the far reaches of East County, yet I keep going back -- over and over again. It is a constant reminder to my friends and I that our lives are in a transitional phase, stuck in the era between childhood and adult life -- yet it is the social gathering center, the meeting place....in other words, where it all happens.

Ahh, I remember Rancho San Diego when it was still in its developmental stages. I recall coming down to the end of the 94 freeway (east), being driven by my mom in her huge 84 Dodge Ram Van (that could be customized to look like the mystery machine) -- and seeing the large welcoming wall that proudly read -- "Rancho San Diego." The aura of the place was quite breathtaking -- it was very "country," open and unsettled. I remember seeing the schools and other surrounding real estate being built, long before RSD became the social hot spot of East County. Hell, my brother even worked at the 7-11, that we now all know as "Da Boyz Pizza."

The town was innocent, a little gem that wasn't yet too full of itself or its ambition. Then the 90s came. Rancho SD was no longer just the back way to El
Cajon, which is what we all used it as. Somebody got ambitious -- I'm guessing the same entity that owns the Avocado Shopping Center (I have reason to believe that one "entity" is behind all of Rancho San Diego; from Avocado to K-Mart, the architecture is the same, as is the trademark "Rancho San Diego" Font on all of the shopping center signs)-- and saw a chance for success in the development of this innocent little town. In the mid-90s, this entity cultivated the vacant field behind the Sweetwater River and the Jamul Horse Ranch (directly across from the already established but [at the time] still fledgling shopping center, which included K-Mart, Ross, Ralphs, Valle De Oro bank, Burger King, etc). The signs went up announcing that theaters and a Target were to be built -- naturally, we were all excited, because the old Grove theater was shutting down and we needed a cinema to go to. Little did I know that the development of this town would drastically change the way I lived my life in a couple short years.

My esteemed colleague, Vomit God, calls RSD "Crackville USA." While this is no ghetto, he maybe right. But I think the thing that really ruined it for all of us was the invasion and blind takeover by the droves of evil High School jocks. You know how to identify them:
Usually driving lifted Ford Rangers, which are outfitted with roll bars, ridiculously huge tires, FOX RACING stickers, and the sound of mediocrity (oops, I mean Limp Bizkit) blasting from the windows on needlessly huge sound systems.
The average "RSD Jock" is a white, blonde, spikey-haired FOX Racing T-Shirt wearing rich, pampered momma's boy.
They are all evil. And easy to spot. These are the unfortunate kids who were raised by their dads to suppress all human emotion -- ESPECIALLY those annoying little ones like sympathy, and kindness towards others -- and thrown into awful youth sports programs, where they are taught needless and hostile competition, and violence. They grow up, emitting an aura of pretension, where they blindly feel the need to pretend to be offended at any slight hint of homosexuals or related activities therein. They usually have an unintelligent, angry-for-the-sake-of-angry, look in their eyes. They travel in large packs, have no known conscience and are usually accompanied by a bleach-haired bimbo who can't help but be attracted to complete assholes. Don't feel sorry for her. She likes being treated like an object. There is no philosophical or emotional depth to her, therefore she is not worth your
pity. Simply move on and be glad you don't live in that world.

These stupid thugs should be considered extremely dangerous, and their pride
(stupidity) causes them to be prone to anger. They are easily offended. If you are a free-thinking person, avoid these morons at all costs.

This all proves to me one thing. It is not the town itself that sucks. Sure, the traffic is no fun, and the town takes itself too seriously (as if there is actually something to DO there), but what really ruins this town is the PEOPLE. It's really a shame, too.

But we keep coming back. Hell, I believe over half of the WOV staff (myself included) are going to Cuyumaca College -- I even have a class with Dr. Coxrobotika. We always meet there, and as much as we say we hate (or DO hate)
the place, it is home, and will more than likely stay that way for some time to come. Yes, we sometimes speak of a grand escape from this friendly prison,
but I don't think we really want out at all. Oh well, something to ponder for another day.

Jesus Loves You

Sincerely,
Desservo