Right Guard

Crazy Grandpa
by Becky

My grandpa is apparently under the impression that right guard aerosol deodorant can also be used as air freshener… The hissing noise of the can first caught my attention. I turn around to see my grandpa spraying something all around the room. As you can tell from previous stories anything you see grandpa doing must be questioned.

Me: "WHAT are you doing!?"
Gramps: "I spray."
Me: "That’s DEODERANT!"
Gramps: (mutters something about it making smell good)
Me: "It’s for your ARMPITS!"
Gramps: (laughs at my stupidity) "You take me for stupid! Yes it’s for armpits..." (sprays some onto his armpits *although he is wearing a shirt* to demonstrate to me because I’m so dense) "...also for room!"

So I yelled at him a bit more about how it wasn’t for the room. And he walks away muttering something about how long he has lived in Canada. He doesn’t speak English very well. It smells so bad.