Desservo #14: I AM A CHILD

I admit it. I'm a big, ass-kissing child. Vomit God is right. All this time, I've been writing useless, meandering articles. And so have we all.

I guess it's because I wasn't pretentious enough. I know I made an occasional funny article here and there, but ultimately I failed. I SHOULD have been more pretentious. I see that mistake now. Looking back, I probably should have staged an "event" that people pretended to care about, in which I "left," deciding from the get-go that I would make a "triumphant" return (only this time nobody would even pretend to care), with a new name (which would serve no real purpose and just complicate things unnecessarily) and that nobody could give two shits about. But I've been beaten to that punch, unfortunately.

I guess another thing I should have done was stop trying to branch out with creative articles, taking myself (or, at least, making an attempt) and the comedy of the website in new directions. I realize that I wasted my time. In retrospect, what I should have done, was write a bunch of "samey" articles in which I rant endlessly (almost about the same thing every time), and talk and yell and argue loud enough so that no one will think to argue, contradict or question me. In addition, I should have done so with an air of snobbery so that people would always accept that I was right without question.

Then, I should have staged my aforementioned "leave and come back plan," and spouted off again a couple of times in another attempt at getting attention - thus completing the circle: I AM A CHILD.

Hawaii,
Desservo

P.S. In the event that someone might question what I was doing or write a slanderous article in repsonse to my rantings, I will merely tell them that I was doing it in a meticulous effort to "stir up the pot" and get the juices flowing again. Good night.