KAISER #10: Proof I'm Going To Hell

As they say “When it rains it pours”, as do my spurts of writing. An exciting trend has awakened on the pages of WoV, people are writing again. Whether that is for good or ill remains to be seen. Even I am affected by this, so here I am typing away another article.
But what to type, should I simply write what comes to mind or go for something with substance? However it’s not like I’m being paid here, I have no criteria or deadlines to meet. So why do we do it, it’s damn fun. So there’s my motivation, and so I shall begin with the article …. NOW!

Ladies and gentlemen I think I have finally snapped. I have gone and lost my cool as it were, I’ve finally reached my limit for sanity, and drove over the cliff. What the hell am I talking about, why, life that is. I have literally spent the last six years of my “life” trying to figure out the meaning to that word and do know where I have ended up? Sitting at this keyboard and mad. Mad you say, yes I say, mad. Mad at the fact that everyone goes through this period of attempting to make sense of life and no one ever gets an answer. And the people who seem content I can tell you gave up trying. There will always be a part of me that will struggle to find some answers, some validity to that which we call reality. For now however I think I’m going to sit back and play the role of the observer, because this freak show we call society better have some answers for me. Am I bitter just because I don’t get it, yes. Yes I am damnit, I think simply by being alive I deserve a little clarity, some to it myself, fine, give me the capacity. But no, oh no, it all has to be some kind of trail, figure it out on my own. All well and good would the human mind able to wrap around the world in which he festers. But why try and make meaning? It’s not my fault, my malfunctioning head makes me do it, makes me want and yearn for that which man has dubbed enlightenment. If Buddha supposedly could do it why can’t I, I didn’t spend forty days under a Bodi tree but who cares. Tired have I become of the endless cycle of doubt and inspiration. I can’t tell you how many days go by when I think I have it, then realize what I’m holding doesn’t even remotely resemble what I was grabbing for in the first place. It leads me to conclude that the natural state for man and by depressing extension myself is that of bedlam and hatred. Look around you and tell me I’m wrong, I would really appreciate it. Thusly how if it’s in my nature to seek a state of natural chaos and unrest then why do I try and break free and add more stability to my life? I’m evil, man is evil, God is evil. You knew it was coming sooner or later. That’s right God, if you are floating in your cloudy sanctuary I want you to see this, you are an evil asshole simply because. Let’s assume you do exist, what the hell (pun intended) were you thinking with us, what were you trying to accomplish. Were I you I would concentrate on giving a guy who is supposed to worship you a little more to go on than some pacifist tacked to a tree. Were I you passing out traits of beings I would perhaps consult my intent for them before firing up the kiln. You dick. Where do you get the fucking nerve. You are damn right I am mad, or can’t you tell. I really wish that sometime in the future I will get it, but for truth I’ll lose it seconds later, back to the brackish mists whence I came. Fuckass.