KAISER #1: Kaiser Is Born

Work Three dated 2/6/2001

Hello everyone out there in WoV land, you know who you are. This is a factory direct pearl of wisdom for your pal Caelestis per Demens... Now that the cheering has died down ill get to the point of this here number. I am gonna tell ya something that may blow yer mind right now ... I am offically changing my name from Caelestis per Demens to Kaiser. Yes, Kaiser. As Kaiser I will no longer slap you with mindless rants or meaningless tales off gibbrerish bleeding from my mind, I will now write tales about my own greatness, and comparisons to all the other peoples in my land. For I am Kaiser, ruler of all, Magic, Duke of shale, Lords of it's lands and ruler os it's peoples. Do I have an infalted snese of worth, do you think me pompous, yes. Thats the way it is, i'm the friggin Kaiser for Chirstor's sake.
If your'e reading this, then I've cotcha hooked and can tell ya a little more about myself. The Kaiser is friends of few, defeater of many, emperor of all, and generally best guy of all time. My list of friends includes Christ, a guy named Aaron, Stalin (a favored teacher of mine), The Archangel Azrael, Lucifer, Ghandi, Ghengis Khan, Khublai Khan, and my very best friend Jose Cuervo (Especial of course). What a list eh, of course some may may be a bit far fetched for you to believe, but it's true. How else could I have gotten this far unless I was under the collective wing of both Ghengis Khan and Stalin?
I Kaiser, wish for you all to know what I know, which is Barbeque. For what is better after crushing your enemies than firing up the grill and putting over flame the torn flesh of hapless animals? Especially that stupid creature known as the Cow, but heres a secret, the Derr and Elk are best for meat, rare, but oh so sweet!
I have gotten off the track, I began writing this to tell you about who I am now, what I am like (of course I am too complex and splendorous to explain in mere words), and I have yet to address your real questions. These being: Why is Kaiser so wonderful?, Who does he think he is? and the best of all Why the changer your name to Kaiser? To answer those so say I am simply the Kaiser should answer the first two, but the last is somewhat trickier. I was called Caelestis per Demens, while great because it's in Latin (meaning A god because of insanity) it is incredilby wonky to spell, long and doesnt exaclty spark general interest in anything I did. Which to say wasn't much insofar. But that's ok, all I did as Caelestis was mutter and rant, about nothing good in particualr, not really building a good reputation for qualty writing or note worthy activity. Well that shall change, as Kaiser I have a path, I have a goal. My goal in WoV is to bring enlightenment to all who dwell here, amy they spread it to all they know, may they in turn become a little more ... divine