Ask Drunken Dwarf #5

Hello everyone and welcome to a special edition of Ask Drunken Dwarf...about Terrorism! Well, after the incident on September 11, I recieved a ton of emails asking about terrorism and the tragedy. About 90% of them I threw out because they kept asking about how does one get their start in terrorism. I am sorry but I will only tell you that if your life mission is to destroy the required drinking age laws. So here are the left over questions:

Yo Triple D,
September 11, 2001 has truly changed me. Now, whenever I look at everyone on the street, I do it with suspicion. Anyone can be a terrorist, and God knows
that those sand rats have chemical and nuclear weapons to use at their will.
There is talk of depression on the rise since september 11, and I am slightly troubled by that. My question is, what rhymes with orange?
Busta Cap
Los Angeles, CA
Busta,
I see where your problem lies. What the hell are you doing ryhming about oranges! No one wants to hear that. You need something like "Hey man, get off your bum. It's about time we hit up that rum!" By the way, that is being copyrighted as we speak.

Drunken Dwarf,
Why Didnt Osama get my invitation to come over for thanksgiving so he could see first hand how much better Americans are at everything?
Show-off
New York City, New York
Show-Off,
He probably did get it, but felt that it would be wrong to show up and break bread with the people he has whole-heartedly declared war on. Everyone has some sense of guilt and decency. His is deep down by his little bleeding heart. Maybe next year.

Dear Dwarf,
If terrorism is supposed to be evil and shunned then why are people allowing Dave Matthews Band to exist?
Music Freak
Miami, Florida
Freak,
Good question. Well Dave Matthews Band is not terrorism. They manage to slip under the radar yet again. Once we classify what they are, we can fully attack the problem.

Dwarf,
where do babies come from? why is the sky blue?
Clueless
Philidelphia, PA
Clueless,
How should I say this...shut up.
Dear Drunken,
Why did the terrorists choose the world trade center? How can I overcome fears that they won't choose my house next?
Scared Little Girl
Chicago, Illinois
Little Girl,
First off, they chose the World Trade Center because of several reasons. CNN can provide those types of answers. I rather just drink. As for your fears, yes, your house is next. Expect to lose everything in a few days. Why you ask? Because your house is filled with government agents and major financial powers. Feel better?
Dear drunken dwarf,
I've stumbled on to a realization. You and Osama Bin Laden have never been seen together. You are never in the same room. You two are always talking about each other, but when one is around, the other is gone. So, I ask you, Drunken Dwarf....are you Osama Bin Laden?
Ronald Reagan
Reagan,
Damn! The gig is up! That is it, now I must destroy the WOV. Time to get Desservo in a plane and have him suicide dive the WOV server. Wait a minute, what am I talking about? Osama couldn't hold down a Smirnoff Ice. I can't be Osama!
Drunken Dwarf,
Why do these people hate us?
Billy Bates
Phoenix, Arizona
Billy,
Not us, you. Get it straight.
Dear Drunken Dwarf,
These terrorists aren't such bad people...I mean, try to see things their way. Maybe this is the wake-up call America needed.
Senator Gary Condit
Washington, D.C.
Senator,
God damn, you are an idiot. Maybe they should have crashed a plane into your car. That would be a wake up call.
Dear Drunken Dwarf,
Do you think it is safe to fly again?
Grounded,
Bakersfeild, CA
Grounded,
Sure it is. In fact, all you need to do is arm yourself with a box cutter so that if there are any terrorists, you can properly defend yourself. Safe Travels!


Well that is it. Yeah, I know. Those questions answered little if anything. So sue me! If you want something answered, write me at drunkendwarf12@aol.com. Until then, stop complaining and keep enjoying!