Drink or Stink #2

It is I, the mini-Drunken Master, with a brand new addition of Drink or Stink! Now this edition has a little history. You see, what many of you might not know (but I am sure most of you somehow already know) is that I am now gainfully employed. I am very near my one month mark. But as most employees get, I have become disgruntled. So I go to Vox and says, "Hey Vox, I am going to rant. Get ready to post." But then it hit me. Even though rants are a major part of the WOV, I have only had one. Think back...think real hard...ok forget it, I will just remind you. I wrote a rant on the political process when we had that joke of an election between Al G and G Dub-ya B. So I have decided to leave all my rants to only concerning politics. (Side Note: Before all you people breathe down my neck about politics, to make myself clear...I love our government, I despise the politics behind it.)! So that leaves me with a lot of disgruntled thoughts and no outlet. So it hits me once again. Drink or Stink! So here I am with this edition of "Drink or Stink: Employment", subtitled "Working at Target." So may you all enjoy and relate.

Stink: Being a Cart Attendant
As you might be figuring out, that is the position I hold and what most of my article will relate to. You see, when people hear cart attendant they think "Oh you collect carts." But I do so much more. I am what some might call a "labor bitch." I do all the chores around Target. I restock all bathrooms and keep them clean, I clean all messes throughout store, I take things all around the store, I collect hangers and put them in bins, I sort through defectives, I help guests if they need escorts or assistance, I help any department that is short on staff which could consist of being a cashier or more, and many other little small jobs. Now add the all of this stuff must be done every hour and there are a lot of carts. Trust me, my blisters have had blisters. All this at minimum wage when easier jobs get paid more. That's capitalism folks! But hey, a man has to start somewhere.
Stink: Bathrooms (All about the girls)
OK, I have cleaned both bathrooms so I can compare. So not to be sexist but if men are pigs, women are wild boars. The worst thing the guys have is some graffiti on the mirrors. The women have toilet paper and paper towels everywhere. Seat covers are hanging on seat or on floor. Can't you all just flush the paper down the toilet? And don't blame Aunt Flo and her monthly visit because that excuse only goes so far.
Stink: People and Carts
OK I am going to go off on this. There is this thing that hold carts. It is located in the parking lot so that when you are done with them there is somewhere to put them. But do people put them there? No, they put them in car lanes or on plants or leave them flipped over. Wait, it gets better. They also love to take them everywhere. There are carts clear across the mall. Why? Beats me. Another thing, Target allows and encourages eating and provide a food court, but carts are not trash cans. I only have so much time and it is hard to take trash out of every cart. And you people are so inconsiderate sometimes, just because it is easier on yourself. Just today, one person brings an Albertsons cart into target and leaves it in front of me. I don't work at Albertsons. The store is not Albertsons. So now I have to take that one cart on a special trip out of the store just because they didn't want to take it out themselves. Also I was collec! ting carts and building up a train when this lady finishes with her cart. She is about 15 feet away and she sees me doing my job. Instead of rolling the cart those few feet to me, she puts the cart and rolls it into the plant by her car. So now I have to go over there, pull out the cart and roll it over to the others. It just pisses me off.
Stink: Effect on my attitude
People who know me will vouch that I am a friendly guy. I usually never show anger or cuss them out. (I do cuss though but it is joking and in jest. JJ if you are reading this, the Geno thing was a ont time only affair...and he deserved it!) But that has changed. Now I no longer mean what I say. When I am at work my friendliness is fake and empty. You hear all the time that people say "I love you" too easy and it doesn't have meaning to them. Well I say "Thanks" too easily and the word has lost meaning to me. I find myself thanking someone and then silently calling them a venomous, scaly ass bitch. I have lost my innocence...
Drink: The Money
There had to be something to drink to. And that is money. This in no way states that I like my pay. It just means I like to be paid. I think I am underpaid for what I do, but when I see the money, no matter how small, I get a smile on my face. That is Capitalism folks. God Bless America. If not for money, I would have no way to get liquor. Now I can finally afford it without having to hit up random parties and steal theirs.

So there you have it. As almost everyone knows, work sucks. I am saying it, Desservo has said it, Vocephus has said it, and so have many others. In fact, I have heard Vocephus got his start in a Target...maybe he will grace this article with a note saying how the words I speak are true. Anyways, send all suggestions for future articles to drunkendwarf12@aol.com. I write for the people, so tell me what you want to read about. Happy drinking!

*NOTE FROM WEBMASTER: I spent the worst 90 days of my life at Target. At the end of this period, my supervisor and I came to a mutual agreement that I didn't want to work there anymore, and they wanted to stop paying me. Let us never speak of it again.