Deoxy #9: Not A Safe orgAnization

NASA: Not A Safe OrgAnization
by Deoxy Xyloflux

I just read an article where NASA determined, through the use of a 15+ million dollar computer that the true color of space is latte. A contest ensued to name the new color, the winner being "Intergalactic Latte."
So this is where my tax dollars go to. An organization that spends millions of dollars a year to find the true color of space, make sattelites that don't work (like the Mars explorer), and build a so called international space station that is no doubt a stopping point for children's letters to God. Until I myself can find the link between the effects of zero gravity on the human body and solving world hunger, I will forever wish to abolish this stupid waste of money. Instead, I'm opting that the goverment empty a landfill, and fill it with millions of hundred dollar bills, and prompty set it on fire. We'll never notice NASA's gone.
The biggest joke to me is this whole "search for life beyond the stars" bullshit. Well, baby, Vulcan sure looks a hell of a lot like Afghanistan. I just think it's great how easily people can be conned into believeing anything, especially with UFO's. What I suspected all along was proved right earlier this year, when the national archives finally opened the files on Roswell. It turns out it was a weather balloon after all, which the government conned people into suspecting it was a UFO so they could continue to spy on the Soviet Union.
I think it's great how mass hysteria and the need for attention fuels this UFO shit, too, similar to the "Virgin Mary on the tortilla in Mexico." Just take Cletus in Montana, have his father get him drunk and anally rape him and viola! When he wakes up he'll have a mysterious anal probing memory.
Colony on Mars my ass! I'm not payin' for any shit like that unless I'm going! Besides, what's wrong with this planet? What ever happened to "Be fruitful and multiply over the earth?" Perhaps we should spend all that money to help the homeless, but there's more of a chance of a one eyed nun with spider legs materializing in my room.
I have a message to all you fuckers: get your head outta your "Star Wars" shit! If aliens come, there will be no wise talkin' Will Smith to save your lazy ass. However, you'll be wishing for one when you're being forced into slavery.
Look, I wish floating cities and flying cars along with aliens and humans interacting will happen soon, but I just don't see it coming for another 45,798,326,373,333 years. I think we should spend more time worrying about the possiblity of global war in the near future. Well, May the Farce be with you! By the way, "Star Wars" ain't that great!