Drink or Stink #1

Welcome back once again. It is I, Drunken Dwarf and as many of you may have guessed...I have a problem. No I am not talking about alcohol. In my case alcohol is never a problem. I am talking about my articles. I can never stick to one article type. First I had the internet chats, then the Haikus, and then my highly coveted (but rarely written to) advice column. So not to harm a trend, I have come up with a whole new innovative article. Welcome to Drink or Stink! Catchy title, hunh? This is where I will tell you about the good, the bad, and the ugly. Still don't understand? Well it is simple. If something gets "Drink" that means it is a plus because hey, alcohol is always a plus. And besides it is good enough to drink to. Now if something gets a "Stink," well...it stinks. Now each Drink or Stink will have a theme, and since this is the inaugural Drink or Stink I felt that the first theme should be our very own WOV! So read on and enjoy!

Drink - The WOV Staff
What can I say? We are the most underrated writers on the web...mainly because no one has ever heard of us. We are our accolades. We want our dues! Throughout the history of the site, we have seen some great writers. You have the veterans Raphael and Vomit God. Then you have the addition of yours truly. Then there are the many new faces like Kaiser, Gandhi Mangler, Cox Robotika, and Desservo. Truly nothing finer...except an alcoholic beverage.
Stink - The Faithful Readers
I am not attacking you guys personally but if you guys are faithful, SHOW IT! Email, sign in on the message board, do something! So far the site has gotten two documented fan letters. TWO! If you guys want to be upgraded to Drink (as I know you all do) then prove yourself. Show support. Maybe we should start an Adopt-a-Staffer program...
Drink - WOV Miscellaneous Non-Such links
Some of the most profound stuff can be found on the web. But if you are just bored and need to burn time, the best place to look is Miscellaneous Non-Such! Of course this is only a last resort after you have read all of the stuff by the WOV staff.
Stink - The Message Board
Once again this relates back to our readers. Come on! Don't get me wrong, the message board is far from empty...but the main people who write on the board are staffers, friends of a staffer, and Vocephus himself. We need outside opinion. We crave it like I crave alcohol. We can't have enough! So let your voices be heard goddammit!
Drink - Photo Plays
Vocephus, your ability to take pictures and string them together into...well...pictures with text is amazing. I would have never seen how things work behind the scenes at WOV if not for your photo play on it...and I am a staffer! These are a definite must see!
Stink - The Mike
First off Mike this isn't personal. This will not develop into a Jerry Springer episode where me and him are on stage fighting with the crowd chanting "Vocie! Vocie!" There is only one reason why I have Stinked Mike...it is his absence. Where have you been? Everyone has missed hearing about your exploits. If you were going for a dramatic disappearance and reappearance, then it was too dramatic for me. It is nice to have you back and hopefully you won't drop off the planet again.
Drink - Rocks of Randomness
Never since the writings of Socrates have I seen so much wisdom in one place. College courses should be taught about the knowledge in the Rocks of Randomness. One problem though...not enough rocks from me! I am an untapped vessel of thought and knowledge that should be shared with the world. Drunken wisdom is the best kind of wisdom. Remember that.
Stink - Drunken Dwarf???
Yes you are all reading correctly. I have Stinked myself...wait...that sounds really nasty in a fecal sort of way. Anyways, there is a reason for why I stinked myself...I really need to find a better way of saying that. The reason is my lack of posting. I am way behind in posting material and it is showing. I am sorry but I suffer from a severe mental disability. It is called Boredus Allthetimus and a lack of motivation called "Gary Coleman" syndrome. I promise I will get more out soon, maybe if you people out there found a way to motivate me...like emailing!
Drink - Vocephus and the WOV
Overall, the site is a major plus. What? You thought I would shit all over the site? Yeah right...this place is my mode of creative expression. And a big plus to the creator and leader, the Walt to our Disney, the Jack Daniel to our whiskey, Vocephus! Three cheers and bottoms up in a toast to the site. Nothing but hard liquor for you and the site!

Well that is it for the first edition. If you have anything you would like to see on Drink or Stink, email me at Drunkendwarf12@aol.com. Until next time, keep the liquor flowing and drink on!