Vomit God #30: The Vomit Spews Forth Again

After a particularly sickening night at a friend's party, I've decided to revert back to my old name. Who am I kidding with this Xyloflux crap? No one on this site was smart enough to pronounce it, and while I cannot stop the movement of time, I can at least apply the breaks.

I have to admit, I'm a pretty fucking good writer, so good that other people steal my ideas. It's cute, almost like Moses making a Golden calf. The latest case in point. A local musical group deemed the Altoid Six, whom I hear sounds like the Revillos and Rick Wakeman doing "King Arthur On Ice", has, in fact, stolen a character of MY creation. Yes, Zolar the Space Pirate, which in fact, was intended to be used as an insulting characture, has landed in the middle of their show.

Am I angry? Not really. I bet the Sex Pistols have a hoot with all the American teenage punk bands belting out "Anarchy in the UK." Besides, this isn't the first time an insult was accepted as fact. Yes, our own VOX Vocephus, the trench miner, cried like a wee babe when I revealed his future occupation. Now, like a lamb to the slaughter, he accepts it! C'mon guys, why don't you have a character named "Dumbass" who eats bowls of shit and masturbates. That's the basic equivalent!

But hey, imitation is indeed the best form of flattery, and it proves that they will forever be the Monkees to my Beatles and the James to my Smiths. No one can quite compete with me, and this is due to the fact that no one's sent me hate mail! C'mon, pussies! Are you too full of vegan burritos and too busy reading feminazi literature to pour some sweet hate on me!?

Ok, I'll add some more fuel to the fire: Fuck Star Wars! It's overrated, it stole elements from Samurai films, and I've seen better acting at a Beach Boys reunion!
Fuck zombie films. You only wish you could be zombies because people could finally appreciate you for being brainless and stupid!!!

Had enough? I have.

Anyway, it's good to be back, I promise no name changing ever again. I also promise no more articles about name changing, too. Yeah.